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Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Editor

HANDS UP; DON’T SHOOT…I MEAN “I LOVE FRIDAYS!!1!”

===================

Thanks to Governor HairGel -- cursed be his name -- I have to pack moar shit now. And probably deal with Karens who expect us to wear face masks when it’s in the 80s (or warmer) while we’re working on their property. Outside.

Fuck you, Gavin; you’re a fascist goon.

As re Dan Cathy: Now I have a reason to boycott Chick-fil-A.

Fuck you, Dan; fuck collective guilt and fuck shaming people into atoning for things they didn’t do. What a shitty, conspicuous exemplar of virtue signaling piety you are. How about you shine my goddamn shoes for all of the crap your co-religionists have done to my people for two fucking millennia?

“Now go home and get your fucking shine box.” Pusbag.

BBL.

dv8
Editor
dv8
1 year ago

Ok Fatwa, now tell us how you REALLY feel!!11

I so agree with everything you write here.

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
1 year ago

Good morning, Fatwa.

Peak stupid is still up the trail and around the bend.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Editor
Reply to  Sven 2-0

Mornin’, Sven!

Concur re “peak stupid”…and we’ve already reached levels I didn’t think were possible.

I can’t even…

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
Paddy O'Furnijur
1 year ago

Happy Friday, Gerbil Nation!
Good morning, Fatwa, and Sven!

Yesterday a young lady I know posted a picture of a cop spraying mace directly in the face of a little black girl and made the usual comments about how terrible this was, etc., etc. Something didn’t look right, so I did a little digging. The picture was from nine years ago from an incident in Brazil! Further, the government did the right thing and fired the offending cop. She didn’t like when I pointed those facts out to her and suggested that given current events people might believe it happened recently and in the U.S. and that those pesky details should be included. Peak stupid seems a long way off.

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
1 year ago

Question: has Juneteenth ever been a “thing” that you can remember? Holiday, celebrations, speeches? I don’t remember it ever.

X_LA_Native
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Sven 2-0

Juneteenth is a thing here in Texas. Local lore stating that’s the date news of the Emancipation hit Texas.
I’ve never seen it anywhere else.

Update:
Checking the local news for our county, looks like the annual celebration was cancelled in May due to COVID and “peaceful protests” at the courthouse in town tomorrow night have been scheduled.

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
1 year ago
Reply to  X_LA_Native

Hi X!

Right on cue, teh bestest place ever sends out an email saying what an important day today is -- something they’ve never done before.

X_LA_Native
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Sven 2-0

And aren’t you glad you didn’t have to write it?!

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
1 year ago
Reply to  X_LA_Native

There is that. You Texans: always finding the silver lining!

X_LA_Native
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Sven 2-0

Actually, it came to mind from one of the Morning Reports at AoS. Its author was tasked by a client to develop a corporate apology and he (I presume) was conflicted, to say the least.

To quote Marissa Tomei, “What a fvckin’ nightmare!”

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
Paddy O'Furnijur
1 year ago
Reply to  X_LA_Native

Hi TeX!
I spent a lot of years growing up in the South and Juneteenth was never a thing.

X_LA_Native
Admin
1 year ago

The Internets are forever and they also lie, but I think this is true:

Juneteenth is a Texas state holiday celebrated annually on the 19th of June throughout the United States to commemorate Union army general Gordon Granger announcing federal orders in the city of Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1865

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
Paddy O'Furnijur
1 year ago
Reply to  X_LA_Native

We learned about it in school, but it was never a thing.

dv8
Editor
dv8
1 year ago
Reply to  Sven 2-0

I knew about Juneteenth when we lived in Portland. We lived in a fairly black neighborhood. It’s a black emancipation day celebration. But it was never a mainstream thing. and so most non-blacks were not aware of it.

Sometimes a local black grandma would put up a booth at the local safeway and talk to folks about it and feed us cupcakes and stuff. that’s how I first heard about it.

dv8
Editor
dv8
1 year ago
Reply to  dv8

Also, a while before that I heard Oprah talk about it in passing on her show.

X_LA_Native
Admin
1 year ago

Good morning/afternoon GN!

Sadly, I concur with what all y’all have said. I don’t think we’ve begun to see just how st00pit things will get yet.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Editor

I learned about Juneteenth 20+ years ago from a friend of mine who happens to be both from Beaumont, TX and black.

It’s preposterous and condescending that it’s suddenly become a “thing”.

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
1 year ago

Reading the absurdity in Oakland about “nooses” in trees, I think we ought to ban rope.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
Paddy O'Furnijur
1 year ago
Reply to  Sven 2-0

Or ban Democrats.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Editor

Ban Democrats first, then rope. IYKWIMAITTYD. 👿

On second thought, rope is actually useful.

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
1 year ago

Big day tomorrow in Tulsa for Trump -- wonder how big of a clusterfark that will turn in to.
I wonder if the phrase “mostly peaceful” will be used?

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
Paddy O'Furnijur
1 year ago

B&G foods is going to review it’s packaging for Cream of Wheat. I’m sure they’ll find that having a Black chef on a box of cereal is “problematic” and “insensitive”. Meanwhile, the great-grandson of the woman who played Aunt Jemima is angry that his family’s history is being erased by a white corporation.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Editor
dv8
Editor
dv8
1 year ago

well, wheelies,

After a 15 hour shift, I ……

Oh let me explain how that happened:

A route driver we have at the paper… this is a long commercial route. Probably, it’s too big, really… well this driver had not been feeling well, so decided to retire from the route.

There was really no one else to take it temporarily… but your’s truly. I managed to get one day of training on it on Wednesday morning…. The gentleman and I had a nice time talking and going on the route together.

Which, in retrospect is a good thing, because he died later that night, so I feel good about laughing and joking with the guy about this and that and giving him a pretty fun last day on Earth.

I really can’t do this route indefinitely, It’s just too long along with my other duties. Even if it didn’t take me longer to finish it, owing to my inexperience with it.

Strangely and wonderously…..

Harper wanted to go with me on my first go on it this morning. She told me she missed us driving around together. So she went with me on the whole thing. the whole 8 hours that it took me. Kind of being my navigator, and partial note taker.

We had a nice time driving around together and talking. I only took her home when it was time to take the van back just to give her a bit more time to get ready for what I thought would be the 12 hours of sleep we’d both need after doing this long shift.

As it turns out, I’m awake again after only 6 hours or so. And, even though I wore long sleeves on the route, I have a pretty significant sunburn.

Harper is sleeping peacefully beside me even as I write these words. But, well… when you have MS, one of your jobs is to sleep. It helps your nerves recover.

I feel like she went with me partially because she didn’t want me to have to do that long thing alone. But either way, we had a lovely time.

I’m trying to decide if I can keep doing this route until they replace they guy, or tell them they’ll have to get someone else.

I’d be okay with quitting altogether if I had to, just to find something else a little more normal. Still, I feel pretty proud that I was able to do the whole thing, AND I got to spend the whole morning with my sweetheart.

I feel lucky in that way, but I’m not sure I shouldn’t put my foot down and tell them I’m can’t do it.

I think instead, that I’ll be proactive in helping the paper find another driver. It would be a great morning job for a younger person looking for some extra cash.

On the other hand, once I learn the route, it would take much less time for me to do it, and I wouldn’t be working into the morning hours so much. So I’m torn, at this point.

dv8
Editor
dv8
1 year ago
Reply to  dv8

Also, silver lining. Although, during my training, the former driver and I had a great time, he was a rabid Democrat, and so at least he won’t be voting for Biden, or any other potted plant, any time soon….

Although, technically….. people do tend to vote Democrat after they pass on. Or so I hear. Worms get into the brain and then they can’t think straight after that, I guess.