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Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
11 years ago

Good morning, Gerbil Nation!
Today is the first day of finals!!!11!one!iforgoteverything!!
Graduation is Wednesday and we’re getting kicked off campus immediately after the last final on Thursday so that another school can use our facilities for their graduation. That means I have to come in on Friday to complete the check-out process. Then I’m done! At school, at least. Then the projects at home start.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
11 years ago

Good morning, Mac!

I read in the paper this morning that one of our deputy sheriffs (the city contracts with the sheriffs department for police services) was seriously injured in a crash yesterday morning.
It was a single vehicle crash (he hit a light pole).
The road is straight.
He was thrown from his vehicle.
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
The road was wet from overspray from sprinklers.
He was traveling 75 mph.
The speed limit is 45 mph.
He wasn’t on a call.

If he doesn’t return to full duties with no real consequences for his reckless endangerment of the public, then I’m sure he’ll retire with a medical pension.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Tuesday greetings from dank, drizzly, mercifully cool and Happy Larryville, GN!

Mac --

I highly approve of today’s thread pic (and am certain Jerry will, too.)

I vote for whatever time Jerry is napping.

Sven --

Heh. But I hope Jerry’s not cutting into Harper’s nap business; I thought her exclusive at Teh Squeak ran through the end of the ’14 fiscal year.

Paddy --

Happy finals!!1!!

Re your local deputy: Remember: laws, standards, rules, etc. are for the little people…not our betters.

BBL.

X_LA_Native
Admin
11 years ago

Well, the police officer that was arriving to work drunk, and managed to t-bone a vehicle that had the right of way when he was turning into the station, was summarily fired.
But that’s out here.

In other news, these are the types of emails I see first thing in the morning from HR that spike my blood pressure to astronomical level:

Women(m)Power – Personal Branding

Please join us on Thursday June 20th @11:00AM PDT for a discussion with [name redacted] on Personal Branding.

During [name redacted]’s presentation she will discuss a framework with which to think about Personal Branding as well as examples of how she applies it to her own brand image.

Why Personal Branding? It is very powerful because it sends a clear, consistent message about who you are and what you have to offer. A strong, authentic personal brand helps you become known for what you’re good at, sets you apart from everyone else, and can position you as a niche expert. CLICK HERE to learn more.

Were I on-site and didn’t give a damn, I’d probably show just to heckle.

Just Sven
Editor
11 years ago

Personal branding? Is that like a step further than body piercing?

Funny story trying to make a point and failing:

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2013/06/12/my-month-with-a-gun-week-one/

I wonder if this woman, if she walked in to Home Depot and bought a chain saw, would handle that tool with the same willful ignorance and happy lack of knowledge and training as she does with a firearm.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Reply to  Just Sven

Personal branding? Is that like a step further than body piercing?

That was not dissimilar to my reaction; heh.

“Ow…quit it!!”

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Heidi Yewman is a profoundly irresponsible bint for a multitude of reasons. Further, asking a cop for assistance, given the circumstances, is ineffably stupid on her part.

If I was a loved one of this idiot I might be worried.

Agreed, Mac.

Actually, given my tendencies, she’d probably have already gotten a high-volume and disparaging dressing-down.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Reply to  Mac

Zounds…I’d not even thought of that possibility, Mac.

I was glad to see several quite-reasonable comments at her moronic article from folks who came across like responsible gun owners.

Just Sven
Editor
11 years ago

For her next hard-hitting journalistic escapade, Ms. Heidi will show how easy it is to get knocked up.

My hands are shaking; my adrenaline is surging as I remove my jeans…..

What’s got me jittery this morning is the big #*@&$ pressing against my hip…

Getting a guy to have unprotected sex with me was simple. I went to the bar, had a few drinks, and asked the next guy that sat next to me if he wanted to get f*cked hard like a teacher. No training required. It took far longer to get my dog a license.

Just Sven
Editor
11 years ago
Reply to  Just Sven

It was obvious from the way I handled his gun that I knew nothing about getting knocked up. Tony gave it to me anyway. The whole thing took 7 minutes. As a gratified consumer, I thought, “Well, that was easy.” Then the terrifying reality hit me, “Holy hell, that was EASY.” Too easy.

Rabbit
Editor
Rabbit
11 years ago

TeX, that “personal brand” woman reminded me of that Jackie Paisley something woman that Ace used to go on about.

Oh, yeah, I really want to sit in a workshop about how to annoy everyone I come in contact with my grand view of myself.

Where is that Sweet Meteor of Death when you need it?

(oops)
Afternoon Greetings!

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Reply to  Rabbit

Hai / ‘bye, RabBeet!!1!

Also, “heh”.

Just Sven
Editor
11 years ago

Nice to see you, Rabbit.

Rabbit
Editor
Rabbit
11 years ago

Hello, I must be going.

(POO-f)

Just Sven
Editor
11 years ago

There’s this bus running around the country sponsored by Bloomberg’s group to get peopled excited about gun control. Apparently, at each stop, they will read the names of the people killed by firearms since Sandy Hook.

So figure 5000 names if they skip on the suicides; one name every 6 seconds, ten names a minute, 360 names an hour: 13 hours. That will make for some riveting community involvement time. Of course, they could work in shifts or just tweet them out or show them on a big screen.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

That will make for some riveting community involvement time.

Hyuk! Still…an improvement over giant puppets and Code Pinkers.

Mac --

Excellent suggestions…but that’d take even longer than a complete performance of Der Ring des Nibelungen. 😉

Just Sven
Editor
11 years ago

Here’s their promo:

Actually more information per name than I thought, plus the pregnant pauses to show how meaningful this all is-that’s gonna slow them down.

All the names read were killed by guns-not by murders-just guns.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
11 years ago
Reply to  Just Sven

That’s why I keep my guns -- if I had any, mind you -- locked up. I don’t want them running around, by themselves, killing innocent people.

NSA codewords: patriot, teaparty, constitution, freedom, liberty

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Good thinking, Paddy. A couple of weeks ago, my Mossberg peeped at me while I was taking a shower.

And a few times, in the middle of the night, I think I’ve heard the forearm moving all by itself…

Sven --

Thanks for the video; WTF is up with “Love Will Win”? Sure, your heart might stop a bullet; however…

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
11 years ago

Sure, your heart might stop a bullet; however…

Isn’t hard-hearted at odds with “love will win”?

It’s almost as if they don’t think these things through!

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
11 years ago

First day of finals went well. The average, so far, is 74% -- right about where it should be, statistically. Also as is to be expected, most students have no idea how to study for a final exam, despite being given instructions throughout the year on how to study and a review packet that challenged them to review the entire semester and determine what area(s) each student needed to focus on. As the saying goes, “You can lead a whore to Vasser, but you can’t make her think.”