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Fatwa Arbuckle: Joooish Space Laser Operator
Editor

Hmmmm…it appears that Thread GIF Kitteh was not neutered; he’s got some serious stones. 😉

Monday gaaaaaaaaaah!reetings from Ebola-free Happy Larryville, GN!

It’s back-to-school time in metro ATL:

As students head back to school at several districts across the metro, schools are reminding students to allow extra time to go through metal detectors.

Apparently “security theater” has been added to the Arts curricula for teh chiiiiiiildreeeeeeeen.

Over the last two years Channel 2 Action News has documented several weapons making it past school metal detectors which are currently run by teachers and staff.

I’m sure that’ll work well. And I have no doubt that the unionized maintenance staffers have been well-trained on how to calibrate and test these machines to ensure they function properly.

The same folks who cannot educate kids or fix leaky roofs are now in-charge of “security screenings”, too.

Storey showed Kavanaugh how the system works. First parents have to ring the bell and the central office immediately sees who’s at the door.

*Bzzzzzzzzz*

“Who’s there?”

“Candygram!”

“Sorry…no candy is permitted in the school.”

*Bzzzzzzzzz*

“Who’s there?”

“Fruit basketgram.”

“Okay…I’ll buzz you in.”

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
Paddy O'Furnijur
6 years ago

Good morning, Gerbil Nation!
Good morning, Fatwa and Mac!

Metal detectors! We can’t even get all the teachers to enforce more normal rules, like keep the kids in your classroom until the bell rings, or don’t let students in late without a note or tardy slip -- there’s no way they’re going to properly run a metal detector, then deal with the contraband.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Joooish Space Laser Operator
Editor

Hai, Mac and Paddy!

Mac --

I’d never seen that Banterist post; hee!

Paddy --

Wasn’t kidding about the inability of overpaid maintenance tools to fix school roof leaks ’round here.

Or LAUSD, either…although their “bid qualification” packages are sadly hilarious. Because having the “proper” number of one-legged, left-handed Panamanian lesbians on-staff is apparently a reliable indicator of a roofing company’s competence. (That wasn’t an actual survey question…but it’s every bit as pointlessly PC as the real ones.)

In a week or so -- when the job’s completed and the inspection card signed -- I’ll have a little tale about the Kafkaesque process of roofing in Beverly Hills.