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Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Happy Monday, GN!

Monday towmotor photo monday towmotor_zps9hmbb8nm.jpg

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago

Good morning, Fatwa, and the rest of the GN horde!

I was watching a DVD last night on building an AR-15. When they got to the part on the lower receiver where you install the magazine catch assembly, the gunsmith showed how to make it CA compliant using the “bullet button” parts. When he was done, the narrator said “OK, so that’s how you do it in the free states and in California.” That’s funny and sadly accurate.

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago

Apparently Wall Street is bracing for another terrible day. I’m sure Obama will give a nice speech to calm us all…unless he’s out on the golf course.

Obama: doing for financial markets what he’s already done for race relations.

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago

Hi Mac!

But hey, you make “serfs” sound like a bad thing! Think of all the stress I don’t have cuz I don’t have to do my own thinking!

Off to work and a job a I really really really love.

Poof

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago
Reply to  Mac

I was hoping that they wouldn’t recognize me, Mac, without my straw hat and sandals, but they knew me straight away and put me to work this morning. But it’s OK cuz I still really really really love my job.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
8 years ago

It’s another Monday, Gerbil Nation!
Good morning, Fatwa, Sven, and Mac!

I’ve just about had it with my brother. As you may remember, he was going to “pray and meditate” about which option to choose for the redo of my parents’ house -- that was Wed. Last night I sent him an email explaining why Mrs. Paddy and I felt that the moderate redo (vs. maximum, minimum, or as-is) was the most appropriate in terms of our parents’ legacy and allowing a young family to begin making their own memories in the home. We could make more money by going all-out, but that would price the home out of reach of most families. I said that if he didn’t wish to expend the additional funds for the moderate redo, we would fund it, but that would limit his gain to his half of what the minimum redo was expected to bring in. I said we really needed his decision by noon on this coming Friday so we could let our real estate agent know and he could get things started. A few hours later I got a sh!t-sandwich of a reply. He was going to give me his answer that night, but because of my email, he won’t. He expressed his moral superiority, questioned my motives for selling the house, asked ‘why the rush’, and demanded more of the proceeds if we finance the remodel. He made it clear that he will make all the decisions and I should just go along with his wishes (he’s the older brother). I told him that his response was offensive and I didn’t appreciate his threats and bullying.

This morning he said he was sorry I feel that way (not sorry for his behavior, mind you), explained that my Dad wanted my nephew to live in the house while he was going to school (he recently graduated), and we had talked about this (we hadn’t), so he hasn’t been dragging his feet. He suggested counseling. My nephew lived rent-free in the house for five years, costing my family about $100k in lost rent, but I’m the bad guy for not wanting the house to sit empty any longer than it has to.

Oh! A couple of days ago, Jerry and I both posted comments to a FB post my brother had made -- a typical liberal ad-hominem attack post. I guess he didn’t like the comments and didn’t want his friends to see them -- he deleted both of our comments.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Hai, Sven, Mac and Paddy!

Paddy --

I’m so sorry to read about your brother’s, erm, unreasonable behavior.

He suggested counseling.

I know just the guy.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
8 years ago

I actually think counseling would be a good idea and have a friend who is a marriage and family counselor that I trust and respect. I would not go to anyone that my brother suggests.

Mrs. Paddy has drafted a response and is trying to act as a conciliator.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

I wish you and Mrs. Paddy luck resolving this with a minimum of additional carp.

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago

Sometimes that is the most effective option.

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago
Reply to  Just Sven

That was to the baseball bat picture.

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago

Hi Paddy,

I’m sorry for the problems that you now have to face with your brother. Having been in a similar situation with my older brother several years ago (to my brother’s credit, on the financial side of things, he was scrupulously honest and fair in his dealings with me), a few things occur to me.

What would your parents want you to do? That was a question I often asked myself during those difficult times, and I knew that they wanted us to get along--but it was also something that I failed to appreciate or do. I just couldn’t.

As a side note, cuz it till makes me chuckle, there was this one time at the nursing home with my mother when my brother had a notary that was willing to cut corners and get some necessary paperwork signed. My mother at the time was deep in the throes of Alzheimer’s and during the whole process she just signed the papers where she was told and smiled and acted completely addled. When the paperwork was done, my brother and the notary took off and me and Mrs Sven stayed with Mom for a bit. After a few minutes, she looked at me, smiled, and said “Don’t let your brother screw you out of everything.”

Who is in charge of the estate? Is it some type of joint deal or are you the executor?

I fail to see what family counseling would accomplish.

What you laid out as the alternatives seem quite reasonable to me, but I understand how that sometimes isn’t enough in difficult family situations. My advice would just be to keep things on a professional, practical basis and try to keep the personal stuff out of it. Easier said then done, I know.