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Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

G’day, Wheelizens!

I see there was another Democrat debate last night; WTF is the deal with having them on Saturday nights? It’s as if they don’t want a large audience or something…

meth lab photo meth lab_zpslwviwtav.jpg

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
8 years ago

A blessed Sabbath, Gerbil Nation!
Good morning, Fatwa!

A Democrat debate you say? I’m sure it was an evening filled with probing, incisive questions, calculated to let the voters discern the strengths and weaknesses of the candidates and the news reports this morning will fairly and accurately summarize the performance of the various candidates.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Hai, Paddy!

Hahahahahahahahaha! I’m going to take a wild guess that the only “probing” will be of our collective transverse colons. (Much like the omnibus Spend & Spy bill will do.)

================

Aurora, CO police have started to provide safe rides home on Friday and Saturday nights for drivers who have had too much to drink…seems like a good idea, no?

Guess again.

Participants should be ready for a lesson in what happens in a DUI arrest and the consequences of impaired driving.

Once you’re educated, officers will drive you and up to one friend home if you live within ten miles of Aurora’s border.

Officers will also offer the opportunity to use a breathalyzer to determine blood alcohol content.

All drivers and passengers must be willing to be searched and have a computer warrant check done, must provide valid ID and will be required to sign a liability waiver prior to being allowed in a police vehicle.

I’m surprised they left out being handcuffed during transport in the name of “officer safety”.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
8 years ago

I wonder which Donald will win?

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

My money’s on the one with the outlandish hairdo.

Just Sven
Editor
8 years ago

Good morning and happy Sunday!

That’s very sad, Mr Admin; very sad indeed.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Reply to  Just Sven

Hey, Sven!

Depending upon who wins, Mr. Admin might have to switch logos; just sayin’.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Dear Mr. Admin:

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Warmest regards,
F. Arbuckle.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
8 years ago

We finally pulled the trigger and got rid of our landline. Because of the poor quality of the underground phone lines in my neighborhood, and the regular service outages, we switched to phone service from our cable provider many years ago. It has been great -- until Thursday when it failed. A technician came out yesterday, verified that the modem on the side of the house had gone belly-up, and told us they no longer use that type of modem. The old modem split off the phone signal from the cable, then fed it into the phone wiring in the house. The new modem requires 110 VAC, is placed inside your home where you’ve got a cable drop, and has one RJ-11 phone jack on it. The idea is that you plug your multi-handset cordless base station into the modem, then you can put the handsets wherever you want. We’ve go cordless phones, but they plug into the phone jacks. Since neither of the two cable drop locations are convenient for a phone, we said forget it. Just cancel the service.

Rabbit
Editor
Rabbit
8 years ago

Evening greetin’s all!
Olive that meth lab dog. And the Trump helmet hair.

Today we went with our son to the Habachi restaurant. I told him to get enough of the sushi & that other one (simushi?) to share. Because I always say that I don’t want any, but end up eating it! I had about 3 of the Hollywood roll sushi & tried one of his other thing. Shimushi? Shishumi? It was thin fish folded over & something drizzled on it with long cucumber strips as a palate cleanser. I don’t know what it’s called. Y’all can stop laughing at me now. We all had the scallops and filet for the dinner part. Oh, and I was happy to see a bunch of mushroom slices in my miso soup. I hate it when I just get the “dishwater”. Although it was a very good “dishwater”. BW was really not up to going, but she didn’t want to cancel our Christmas dinner. He gave us sweet treats from World Market & I gave him restaurant gift cards.

A few days ago, Sis finally returned my call. I was driving us home from TMP, so BW talked to her. As an afterthought we were invited to drive across town on Christmas Eve to see Good Niece’s 3 yr old sing at a church show. None of them attends church, but Sis has made an effort to take her grandkid to church- since she usually has her on weekends. Then afterwards go to their apt for some kind of dinner/party. Nope, not interested. We wouldn’t have even known about it if Sis hadn’t returned my call. BW asked Sis if WG was in jail or not over the ankle bracelet. Sis said he got a postponement till January. BW said, “So if I had given them the $500 it would just be gone?” Sis said “Probably, he still isn’t working or even trying to.” She has been hauling him around to parole meetings & got him signed up with the County Hospital. She’s sick of ZS and WG, too.

Then when we got home, Good Nephew called & left a message that he had to work Christmas Eve, but he wanted us to come over. BW texted back to him & he said he wasn’t going to the sing along, it was on their side of town & he would get off too late. Plus, he had a miserable time at their Thanksgiving. No one wants to be around them & get hit up for money . We will go to his house Christmas Eve.

Of course, after hearing that Sis told us about the church-thing, the next day ZS called BW. The first call since BW said “NO.” Supposedly she was calling to tell BW that WG was having bowel problems & ask for treatment solutions from BW! I am not kidding! 63 year old ZS needs to tell 40yr WG how to deal with constipation!! You really can’t make this stuff up! But then she got to the real reason for her call. She wanted to know if we were going to the singing. BW told her we were not. She didn’t mention the ankle bracelet or say anything about him getting a postponement.

We just found out that there is a problem with the heater at TMP. The AC worked fine all summer, but turning on the heat was not fine. One realtor told ours that the heater didn’t work. It would turn on, but then turn back off. BW thought that maybe the batteries in the thermostat needed changing. (we didn’t even know there were batteries in there!) That didn’t fix it. So when BW was talking to ZS, she asked her about the heater. “Oh, yeah, it does that. You just have to keep turning it on & it finally stays on”. And they didn’t bother to tell us that?? Every single thing that didn’t work in that house, we had to ask them about & it is always “Oh yeah, that is broken.” BW asked ZS to ask WG what the problem was & he said it was “it needs a new control board & TM said the part cost too much”. I looked up the model number & cannot find the circuit board anywhere-even EBay. Parts range from$59 to $200, we can see TM balking at even the low end one. One company said it was a discontinued model. And who bought and installed this model in 2007? That would be one of Sis’ meth-head ex-con electrician friends. Of course, we don’t even know if WG is telling the truth or knows what he’s talking about. He’s jury-rigged stuff all over that house for years. We are going to ask Good Nephew to take a look at it. It is all so depressing.
There was supposed to be an open house today at TMP. Put on by a realtor from another company-not Bob. Funny how when BW emailed to ask for a copy of the contract, he started writing her more often…We don’t know how it went, BW is too depressed to even look at her email.

But really, the past few days have just been very, very bad for BW. I have not seen her this low & teary, and confused since that week between TM’s death & funeral. She says that all this pain is too hard & she wants to give up. She doesn’t think she will ever get over this, or even feel better. I am running out of positive things to say. Thank God we have a session in the morning. She doesn’t want to go. I told her that I am going & she can just sit in the waiting room if she doesn’t want to go in. Ha! I know if I can get her out of the house, I can end up getting her into the session.

So thoughts and prayers would be most welcome right now. And Gerbil prayers are powerful. Thanks!
Gotta hop
(POO-f)