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Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Gesundheit Mittwochsgrüße, Wheelizens!

Our media seems to be a bit disappointed there aren’t going to be many opportunities for stupid news standups with folks leaning into the wind as they scream into their mics about how windy and rainy it is.

Good.

3–5 foot storm surges beat the hell out of a direct hit by Dorian.

BBL.

Just Sven
Editor
4 years ago

Hi, Fatwa -- good morning, GN!

Glad Dorian is staying out to sea, but that extra water is going to mean more lawn mowing, right?

Just Sven
Editor
4 years ago

I eagerly await further announcements from WalMart today, that in the interest of public safety, they will discontinue sales of alcohol.

And that in order to combat global warming, they will no longer sell gasoline.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist
Reply to  Just Sven

I’m not looking forward to when they decide to combat obesity. 👿

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
4 years ago

They could help save Gaia by getting rid of the waddlecarts, thereby reducing their electricity usage and forcing people to exercise by walking.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Good morning, Sven!

I see that S.F. Supervisor Catherine Stefani didn’t mention Kate Steinle; I’m sure that was just an unfortunate oversight. Criminy, the populace there is unglued…which is why they elect so many irrational, demented leaders.

Once again, I’m glad I got to enjoy the experience of living there when the place was merely a left-leaning, pretty, quirky and quaintly provincial (although most residents didn’t think so) city instead of the bastion of deranged bug-f*ck nutbaggery it has become.

Sad!

…but that extra water is going to mean more lawn mowing, right?

Not anticipating any of those rains this far inland; just come clouds this afternoon and tomorrow. Too bad we won’t be getting an ocean waterspout dumping salt water just on our front and back grass; I probably wouldn’t have to mow for the rest of the year. 😉

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
4 years ago
Reply to  Mac

Good points, Mac. I was surprised to read that the NRA had encouraged me to acts of violence. I wonder when I committed them?

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

You simply have no memory of all the times the NRA has used you as a mindless killbot. They’re sneaky bastards.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
4 years ago

Happy Wednesday, Gerbil Nation!
Good morning, Fatwa, Sven, and Mac!

I used to enjoy the occasional visit to SF; I haven’t had a desire to return in many years, and don’t see a reason to, unless they clean up their act -- literally and figuratively.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

Hai, Mac and Paddy!

Mac --

Heeeeeeee!

It’s true; San Francisco Supervisors have murdered more people than my guns have.

Paddy --

Good point re the KorpulentKarts…but then them waddlebutts would be moving even moar slowly than they already do.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
4 years ago

Maybe Walmart could install passing lanes.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Misanthropologist

If Walmart enforces them like they enforce their “Express Lane -- 20 Items Or Less” policy, the waddlebutts will prevail.

Just Sven
Editor
4 years ago

The SF thing is not something the NRA can ignore -- I think that for too long, their strategy has been to hunker down and wait for things to blow over -- that isn’t going to happen this time. I’d like to see a strong statement from them and a request to members not to visit that city, not to do business with it, and just boycott anything having to do with SF. And it’s past time for LaPierre to either clean up his mess or step down.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
4 years ago
Reply to  Just Sven

Personally, I think the latter choice is way past due.

Just Sven
Editor
4 years ago

Darn. The CNN marathon save the planet from global warming town hall is on and I forgot all about it. Sniff.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
4 years ago
Reply to  Just Sven

I’m sure we’ve missed all the good parts by now. No point tuning in to hear the back-benchers.

Just Sven
Editor
4 years ago

True. Plus in an effort to reduce my carbon footprint, I’m leaving the teevee off.

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
4 years ago
Reply to  Just Sven

Gaia and the Hollywood elite thank you!