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Fatwa Arbuckle: Joooish Space Laser Operator
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Happy (I think) Monday, Wheelizens

Maaaaaan…kitteh’s are truly nefarious creatures.

I doubt that there’s anything that’s killed more people than that. Well, maybe JOOOOOOOOOOOOS.

We’re teh worst. 🙂

A few minutes ago, I emailed JimCo’s response to Counselor Shyster, Esq.

While the attached PDF letter from Jim is exceedingly professional, my cover email was, um, pointed.

I eagerly look forward to their reply. 👿

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social distancing t-shirt.jpg
dv8 - something whimsical but not grim
Editor

looking forward to the rest of this story.

Sven 2-0
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Sven 2-0
11 months ago

Good morning, GN, and hello, Fatwa teh shyster slayer!

Monday, eh?

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
11 months ago

Huh. Cool with a slight chance of rain today and then we shoot up to almost 100 by the weekend.

Paddy O'Furnijur
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Paddy O'Furnijur
11 months ago

Happy Monday, Gerbil Nation!
Good morning, Fatwa, and Sven!

My boss just made my day a little better. I had meetings stacked up back to back from 9 am straight through ’til 5 pm, with one break from 1:30 -- 3:00. She just canceled our team meeting and offered to handle another meeting herself. I may actually get something accomplished today!

Sven 2-0
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Sven 2-0
11 months ago

Nice to know there’s some good music out there -- Dana Fuchs.

dv8 - something whimsical but not grim
Editor
Reply to  Sven 2-0

nice to hear singing without auto tune.

Fatwa Arbuckle: Joooish Space Laser Operator
Editor

Hi, Sven and Paddy!

Paddy --

Glad to read that your boss is being helpful; yay!

I left voicemail messages for two VPs at the corporate HQ for this roofing supplier who were copied on the nastygram; that was nearly three hours ago and I haven’t heard back from anyone yet.

Would it kill any of them to at least acknowledge my communications and that they’re “looking into it”?

Not a good way to handle stuff…especially with a party who has a legitimate grievance.

Here’s my “cover email” for the letter from Jim (names changed):

Dear Mr. Shyster and Ms. Paralegal:

Attached below is our response to your demand letter of April 17, 2020.

But first, because we’re “givers”, here are a few helpful suggestions for better lawyering:

1) Failure to correctly identify parties prior to sending them legal threats is redolent of lackadaisical, shoddy work product.

2) When one cuts-and-pastes boilerplate legal language into documents, one should still carefully proofread them.

3) Use of a salutation like “Hi Mr. *Jim’s surname* [sic] in an email containing legal correspondence is generally considered a bit informal; one might also consider the use of a comma. (This assumes -- perhaps erroneously -- that Ms. Paralegal knows what a “comma” is and has a basic grasp of its proper usage.)

We eagerly look forward to your reply.

Warmest regards,

Fatwa Arbuckle
JimCo Roofing

Sven 2-0
Editor
Sven 2-0
11 months ago

LOL. Classic.

dv8 - something whimsical but not grim
Editor
Fatwa Arbuckle: Joooish Space Laser Operator
Editor

Drive-by:

Just got a phone call from a financial honcho at the supplier’s corporate office.

Situation has (allegedly) been un-farked and we will be getting emails and a genu-wine, bona fide paper letter stating same.

Hope that they follow through on the emails ASAP so I can finally let the adrenaline dissipate. 🙂

(On the plus side, I had a legitimate excuse to be hateful to an attorney and a bumblefark paralegal; yay!)

Paddy O'Furnijur
Editor
Paddy O'Furnijur
11 months ago
Reply to  Sven 2-0

And where will they get the money?

dv8 - something whimsical but not grim
Editor

the same place they got the stimulus money. From nowhere. And taxes will go up.